Impulse

Screen Shot 2016-08-07 at 8.17.05 PM.png

When it comes to my writing, I am either apprehensive beyond imaginable or insanely impulsive.

The way I write is very odd according to some other teen writers I’ve talked to. Since when to writers follow most rules and guidelines set out for them, though? Basically, I won’t write anything bearable to read for about a month or two. I’ll journal and write little things that come to my head, but most of it makes me cringe later on. When I get an idea for a short story or a continuation to a longer story, it is usually late at night. I’ll frantically jump out of bed or drop everything I’m doing and write for a few hours. No one can talk to me when I am in this phase, for I am so focused on this wonderful, genius idea that I’ve come up with. I won’t drink anything, eat anything, use the bathroom, or do any normal human function until every word is out of my system. It’s a slightly unhealthy method now that I am thinking about it.

Once it’s on a page or some untitled Google document, I explode with excitement. The excitement usually stems from weeks of pent up frustration of not getting any decent ideas or the lack of the ability to formulate basic words together for my thoughts. I’ll send it in to a website and to a few friends without proof reading it. This. Is. Not. A. Good. Habit.

Here’s a PSA for you but mostly myself: when you are typing so fast that your fingers ache at the end of your piece, you are bound to make a lot of mistakes.  A lot of mistakes.

I don’t think like that. I just want to share with the world how brilliant this story is and I don’t care that I’ve used every verb tense in the book and my vocabulary ranges from “not a word go back to first grade” to “that’s such a pretentious word cut it out”.

Maybe it is good that I get this excited about my writing. At least I don’t (completely) hate it.

As far as other things in my life regarding impulse, I don’t think that it is such a bad feeling. I mean, every purchase or choice I’ve made impulsively, has ended up being totally beneficial or a fantastic story for my memoir.

I bought my Doc Martens impulsively, look where I am with those now.

I  sent in one of my stories unedited at 3 a.m. and won an award for it.

I paid my last $25 on a gift card for a band I didn’t even know and they became my favorite band.

I took a very difficult math course and thought I would hate it, and it made me love math.

I chopped ten inches of my hair off when everyone was telling me not to, and I fell in love with my short hair.

Most importantly, I impulsively decided to expand my friend group and meet people outside of school and thus met my two best friends.

Just as I am posting this at 8 p.m. on a Sunday evening, completely off my planned Friday schedule, here is another example of my impulsive decision to throw some of my thoughts into the universe.

The point to all this blabbing on about my choices and weird writing things is to tell you that life is short, so make your impulsive decisions all day, every day. If anything, they’ll be hilarious stories to tell people when you’re on your death bed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s